Friday, July 26, 2013

Our date night turns strange

I know I haven't been on here much but that is ok........I do have a life.........somewhat. Truth is I have just been trying my hardest to enjoy the summer. My motherish parental unit stole all three of the destructobots (re: kids) for four full days. In parent language that is the equivalent to the freedom cry on Braveheart. To coincide with this fortuitous event, Mr. Fluffy received early birthday money (because we are all just lazy and cool like that in our big family) so we decided to have a movie date. Yippee!

Our city is cool enough to have a drive-in movie theater that is still operational. I absolutely adore it. It is a bit run down and the snack area has a smell that I still have been unable to completely identify, but I just think it is the coolest thing since toasted bread. Plus, for the price of a single movie at a fancy indoor theater, you get a double feature. Two movies for the price of one? Yes thank you please. The only problem is that we always seem to choose the worst weather to go watch movies in. Last time we decided to go while it was like 40 degrees outside, and forgot blankets. This time, it was about 90 out and we are having a plague of monster mosquitoes to boot so we couldn't roll down the windows.

So there we are in our van enjoying the first movie, sweating buckets and ignoring the giant mosquitoes that were staring in the window at us, when I feel our van rock a little like someone had just bumped into really hard. Now, it doesn't take much for our van to do that. In fact, Mr. Fluffy had just leaned against it earlier and made it do the same thing. This time though, Mr. Fluffy was inside so there should be no reason for it to have done it. My first reaction was that someone was playing some kind of prank on us.

Me: Did you feel that?

Mr.Fluffy: What?

Me: The van just moved, I think someone bumped it.

Mr. Fluffy: *looking around* I don't see anyone.

Me: Maybe they are crouched down.

Mr. Fluffy: Ehh, maybe they are but I doubt it is anything to worry about.

So we went back to enjoying the movie. Fast forward about twenty minutes later and there is a flashlight being shined into my window. My first reaction was that someone thought we were doing something inappropriate or that they had figured out we had smuggled snacks in the van. Much to my surprise there were two cops outside my window. I was flabbergasted and then it dawned on me that two cops wouldn't come to tell us to turn over our contraband snacks.

Me: Can I help you officer?

Officer: You two haven't happened to see a man running through here in a white shirt have you?

Me: No, is everything ok? (I was a little worried, we had parked somewhat off to ourselves way up front)

Officer: Yeah, we got a call about that guy on the news tonight (dur Mr. Officer, I am at the movies not at home watching the local news). It seems someone called in that they saw him sneaking around out here.

*Now our drive-in is located out in a big field on the edge of town, so it does make sense someone hiding from the cops in this area would run through here to get to it*

Me: No, we haven't seen anyone but someone did bump our van earlier. We thought it was a prank.

Officer: Ok well we will keep on looking around, you folks enjoy your movie.

Me: Mr. Fluffy, lock the damn doors!

It seems that a man decided to rob one of our local elementary schools of their computers and had been found out. He went on the run the very same night we had decided to sit in the open and watch movies in the dark. It took them three days to catch this houdini of a man. They finally found him hiding out in a car in a parking lot. This was after he was found hiding in an attic and he fell through and escaped.

I am thoroughly convinced he was the one who bumped our van that night. I will be locking my doors every single time now....just sayin'

Monday, July 1, 2013

Face meet palm

At work and phone is ringing.

Me: Hello this is *_______* how can I help you?

Client: Um yeah I need to ask a question right?

Me: Ok, what is it that you need to know?

Client: So I am calling for my friend right?

Me: *silence*

Client: She can't speak English right?

Me: (Thinking about this time that neither can the person on the phone.)

Client: So I am calling about her daughter right? I think she needs shots right? But like they have never called her to remind her she does right?

Me: (this is just too much for me to deal with in my current mood) I am going to transfer you now, please hold.

*my head promptly met keyboard*

This is unfortunately not a rare occurrence at my job.