Naked Amtgard

Sorry I really haven't posted anything lately. Frankly I just hit a wall. It isn't that nothing has been happening but the opposite, so much has been happening that I am having issues filtering everything out and figuring out what to post about. We have been very heavy into Amtgard lately. I have been playing some of the new BO2 maps and of course working my tush off at work and at home with the kids. So I have to say one of the best days of my summer came this last weekend.

We caravaned with a ton of our friends to an Amtgard event up north of us. I wasn't really expecting to enjoy myself quite so much. Just let me interject here that I am an extremely lucky woman to have a husband who isn't controlling and only slightly possessive and jealous, I adore that man. We played our hearts out that entire day and when night came we partied it up a little. Unfortunately, someone slipped Mr. Fluffy some everclear and he went down for the count for a few hours. It is his kryptonite as he told me the next morning (yes, this was the first time in our 12 year marriage that I have seen my dear hubby shitfaced drunk).  After I made sure he wasn't in any danger of being stepped on or eaten alive, I went and hung out with our out of town friends and had a blast (because honestly I was a little upset that my husband was passed out drunk and not having a blast with me, so they were trying to cheer me up). A bunch of old farts acting like teenagers again in a highly comedic way. There was some tackling, some very raunchy jokes and a very entertaining game of truth or dare with plenty of naked racing ( not me, no one needs subjected to that). There is something that is truly liberating about just letting go of everything in a group of people that you can truly trust in. There was not one moment where I felt taken advantage of or compromised. It was like hanging out with a bunch of siblings.

Later when Mr. Fluffy had slept off the majority of the everclear, he came and joined us. Had it been any other man I would have been given no end of grief over it. The fact that he takes my craziness in stride and doesn't get all pissy about it makes me love that man more every day. I couldn't imagine being with a man who was so insecure about our relationship that they couldn't handle me doing some of those things. Our trust in each other is strong, and gets stronger every year. The fact that he understands me and knows that I can handle myself without him getting all macho over me makes me giddy. That is what made that trip the best I have had all summer, and the best part of the entire evening? Falling asleep in Mr. Fluffy's arms in our tiny tent at 5 am.

Best
Husband
In
The
World.

I love you Mr. Fluffy :)

...............

My corn dog stick decided to stab me last night.........very traumatic experience.

Short and not so Sweet

My boss and I have a bit of a war of words going on between us.  We are both fairly short people so we pick on each other all the time. Today I happened to tease my hair into a "bump" and well it adds to my height. He came out took one look at me and grinned. 

Bossman: Nice hair *smirk*

Me: Why thank you, it adds at least three more inches.

Bossman: Now you can ride the big kid rides!

Me: Too bad you're still too short. HA!

Our date night turns strange

I know I haven't been on here much but that is ok........I do have a life.........somewhat. Truth is I have just been trying my hardest to enjoy the summer. My motherish parental unit stole all three of the destructobots (re: kids) for four full days. In parent language that is the equivalent to the freedom cry on Braveheart. To coincide with this fortuitous event, Mr. Fluffy received early birthday money (because we are all just lazy and cool like that in our big family) so we decided to have a movie date. Yippee!

Our city is cool enough to have a drive-in movie theater that is still operational. I absolutely adore it. It is a bit run down and the snack area has a smell that I still have been unable to completely identify, but I just think it is the coolest thing since toasted bread. Plus, for the price of a single movie at a fancy indoor theater, you get a double feature. Two movies for the price of one? Yes thank you please. The only problem is that we always seem to choose the worst weather to go watch movies in. Last time we decided to go while it was like 40 degrees outside, and forgot blankets. This time, it was about 90 out and we are having a plague of monster mosquitoes to boot so we couldn't roll down the windows.

So there we are in our van enjoying the first movie, sweating buckets and ignoring the giant mosquitoes that were staring in the window at us, when I feel our van rock a little like someone had just bumped into really hard. Now, it doesn't take much for our van to do that. In fact, Mr. Fluffy had just leaned against it earlier and made it do the same thing. This time though, Mr. Fluffy was inside so there should be no reason for it to have done it. My first reaction was that someone was playing some kind of prank on us.

Me: Did you feel that?

Mr.Fluffy: What?

Me: The van just moved, I think someone bumped it.

Mr. Fluffy: *looking around* I don't see anyone.

Me: Maybe they are crouched down.

Mr. Fluffy: Ehh, maybe they are but I doubt it is anything to worry about.

So we went back to enjoying the movie. Fast forward about twenty minutes later and there is a flashlight being shined into my window. My first reaction was that someone thought we were doing something inappropriate or that they had figured out we had smuggled snacks in the van. Much to my surprise there were two cops outside my window. I was flabbergasted and then it dawned on me that two cops wouldn't come to tell us to turn over our contraband snacks.

Me: Can I help you officer?

Officer: You two haven't happened to see a man running through here in a white shirt have you?

Me: No, is everything ok? (I was a little worried, we had parked somewhat off to ourselves way up front)

Officer: Yeah, we got a call about that guy on the news tonight (dur Mr. Officer, I am at the movies not at home watching the local news). It seems someone called in that they saw him sneaking around out here.

*Now our drive-in is located out in a big field on the edge of town, so it does make sense someone hiding from the cops in this area would run through here to get to it*

Me: No, we haven't seen anyone but someone did bump our van earlier. We thought it was a prank.

Officer: Ok well we will keep on looking around, you folks enjoy your movie.

Me: Mr. Fluffy, lock the damn doors!

It seems that a man decided to rob one of our local elementary schools of their computers and had been found out. He went on the run the very same night we had decided to sit in the open and watch movies in the dark. It took them three days to catch this houdini of a man. They finally found him hiding out in a car in a parking lot. This was after he was found hiding in an attic and he fell through and escaped.

I am thoroughly convinced he was the one who bumped our van that night. I will be locking my doors every single time now....just sayin'

Face meet palm

At work and phone is ringing.

Me: Hello this is *_______* how can I help you?

Client: Um yeah I need to ask a question right?

Me: Ok, what is it that you need to know?

Client: So I am calling for my friend right?

Me: *silence*

Client: She can't speak English right?

Me: (Thinking about this time that neither can the person on the phone.)

Client: So I am calling about her daughter right? I think she needs shots right? But like they have never called her to remind her she does right?

Me: (this is just too much for me to deal with in my current mood) I am going to transfer you now, please hold.

*my head promptly met keyboard*

This is unfortunately not a rare occurrence at my job.

I swear I am still alive

Swear it! I am here, I am still breathing. Just been super busy and when I am done being super busy then I am too exhausted to think of something to write. I will catch everyone up on my crafts and things later.........but for a while, I am still going to be lazy. Thank you :)

Dialect Challenge

I was browsing Facebook yesterday and came across a post from Kelley of Kelley's Breakroom. She wanted to have a whole bunch of us get together and do a dialect challenge which consists of us recording ourselves saying a set of words and answering some questions. I was bored so I figured, why not. It sounded like a ton of fun to me and, seeing as I live in a town full of military, I am always curious to see what other people call things.

I was supposed to record myself last night and uplink it this morning. Well, good intentions and such right? I was just getting comfy and Mr. Fluffy was making supper but he decided he needed my help (this is usually just a ploy to get me to spend some one on one time with him) and asked me to come cut the onion for the hot dogs he was making. Well if you know me I am the biggest clutz in the world and I tried to cut my thumb off. Well, I sliced it open pretty good. Seeing as how I am the biggest baby in the world I spent the rest of my night soliciting TLC from Mr. Fluffy.

When I got on Facebook this morning I saw that Kelley had responded to my comment saying how she was looking forward to it and I immediately let loose with some colorful language that did not make it into the video because I had forgotten. I didn't have time to do it before I left for work so I decided that I would take some of my lunch break to get this done. So enjoy the following video, please excuse the way I look. It is casual Friday at work and I take casual to a whole new level, no makeup, big t-shirt and barely brushed hair (they just better be glad I wasn't in my PJs).  I would like to point out that Texas is a big state and we have our own different dialects throughout. I currently live in Central Texas but was raised in deep South Texas.

Just to be sure everyone knows what I am talking about I will post the questions below as posed by Kelley.

Here are the questions:
1. What is the generic term for sweetened carbonated beverages?

Coke
2. What do you call the miniature lobster that you find in lakes and streams?

Craw-daddy
3. What is that thing called that kids drink water from in the hallways at schools?

Water Fountain
4. What do you call rubber-soled shoes that you wear to the gym? Or to run? Or to go to Target?

Tennis Shoes (pronounced Tenny shoe)
5. Does someone cut the grass? Cut the lawn? Mow the grass? Mow the lawn?

Mow the lawn
6. What is the general term for that big road where people, like, drive really, really fast?

Highway or Interstate
7. What do you call a group of two or more people?
Ya'll

How do you pronounce:
8. Syrup?
9. Pecan?
10. Pajamas?
11. Mayonnaise?
12. Lawyer?
13. Crayon?
14. Marry/merry/Mary?
15. Doesn't Pepto Bismol taste really, really good?

The Yoga Debacle

I love introducing people to the things I love. Really, really love it. If I can get you to do what I do then that means I have someone to discuss it with who actually understands what I am talking about. I mean, when was the last time you tried talking to a bunch of PTA moms about your K/D ratio? On the flip side I also love introducing my gamer and geek friends to a few "normal" things. 

A couple of weeks ago one of my close friends ( I will name her Miss Missing for future reference purposes) and I were talking about losing weight and getting more flexible so that we can fight better on the Amtgard field. We want to be able to kick some of the guys butts. The drawback to our plan was that we both have some slight health issues, hers being worse than mine. Light bulb moment comes upon me and I say "Hey Miss Missing, ever tried yoga?" Turns out she has never done it but has always wanted to try it out. I quickly extolled the virtues of it to her and we decided that she would stay the night at my place and we would try it the next morning. Before going to bed that night I gave her this warning, "Don't overextend yourself, take it slow and go at your own pace. Don't try to follow the lady on the video because she goes pretty fast on some parts and you won't be able to keep up with her." 

The next morning we get up and get our stuff together. I pop in the video and calmly explain a few of the moves and how she can adjust them a little to accommodate her problem areas so that she won't hurt herself.  The first 10 minutes are fine, we are hitting each pose on cue and she is feeling good about it. It is at this moment that the lady speeds up. Having been to several classes and done the video more than a few times, I am used to the set that we are going through. It is a very common stretch series. It starts in mountain pose and ends the same way. 

Like this video from 1:48 to 3:20 but extremely fast

So I am going along with this quite nicely and it takes me awhile before I realize that there isn't any movement where she is. I look over and she is standing there looking from me to the TV like the world just went wacko on her. I pause the video, look at her and ask "Issues?" That was about the time she broke. She went off on how people who do this must have a screw or two loose and that she thought yoga was supposed to be slow and why was this lady so fraking fast. I admit, all I did was sit back and laugh because, you know......I had warned her. I let her go off for a bit and when she calmed down I let her play with my hair (she likes how straight and fine it is and it let her get back at me with a few good yanks here and there) while we watched a few movies. 

We have decided that we will give this another go sometime. She claims to have a beginner DVD that we can use that might suit her better. I think we will just end up on the couch watching my Game of Thrones DVDs but that is just the way we roll baby. 

The mystery of the urine scent

Do you ever have those times where you know you can smell something but no one else does? I do, all the time. I have a really weird heightened sense of smell. Of course, this only came about after I became a mom. I can smell puke rooms away and if a diaper needs to be changed from across the house. I am sure many of you developed this unfortunate superpower also. Sometimes this ultra shnoz comes in useful, but most of the time I wish I didn't have it (like every time I pass my son's bathroom). 

A few days ago I am sitting in my living room with a friend and we are playing Black Ops 2, just relaxing the day away by shooting digital men in the groin. All of a sudden, I get a faint whiff of  parfum de pee-pee. I immediately chalk it up to the boys not flushing their toilet again and tell them they need to do that pronto. On we go about our business and everything is fine for about thirty minutes when I catch the scent again. I go and check the boys bathroom, because you know, they do everything I ask the first time *insert eye roll here*. Surprisingly, the toilet is clear and there is nothing in there that smells. Ok strange, but I just decided it must have been left over toilet smelly. 

Ten minutes later, I smell it again. This time I go on a manhunt. I check the laundry. Smelly but nothing that smells like urine. I check my son's bed (we are fighting a bed wetting problem, it has gotten much better) to see if it was wet. I checked to see if the kids had dropped dirty clothes on the way to the laundry room. I checked everything.........or so I thought. 

Two days later and I am still smelling it. I have asked everyone else and no one seems to smell it. I belatedly realize late that day, that the only time I smell it is when I am in my computer desk chair. I am searching around my desk when it suddenly becomes overpowering. The one and only thing near me is my tiny little waste basket. Now just a little back tracking here. I used to have a waste basket in my son's bathroom but do to two little boys playing "let's see who can fill it with pee faster" I have taken it away from them. So with this in mind, I think "Oh no, no trash can is safe. I am going to maim them." I call (read: yell) them down from their rooms and start demanding to know who peed in my trash can in the living room where we entertain our family and friends. Both boys are adamantly denying their involvement, saying they learned their lesson from the bathroom stunt when I see this tiny hand being held up behind them. 

Yes, it was my dainty, girly little daughter. 

My mouth just dropped open and everyone fell silent. Mr. Fluffy trying to hide his giggling brought me out of my shock and I proceeded to ask the question all mothers fear...........why. She tells me that about a week ago (yes.....a week.......pee was in my living room for a week) she was downstairs watching her cartoons and felt the need to pee come on her. For some reason none of us will ever know, she spied my trash can and thought to herself  "I can just squat over that and then I won't have to walk upstairs to the bathroom, no one will ever know." She was surprised to learn that two inches of pee in there would start to stink after a little while. Her punishment was having to clean it out. She has sworn never to do it again. 

Let's hope she sticks to that

My foray into alternative hair removals

A little while back, when I finally decided I had to see a doctor about my menstrual situation, my doctor had me experiment with hormones to see if that would help any. It of course did not, it only served to make me even more insane than I already am and basically made my husband consider an exorcism. The experimentation didn't last long so I thought that all those little issues that are supposed to haunt you wouldn't matter to me.

Six or so months ago, Mr. Fluffy is sitting there staring at me. I finally get exasperated and ask him what was wrong and he says "I think you are growing a mustache." I freaked. I ran upstairs and stared really hard in the mirror and sure enough there were little tufts of tiny blonde hairs where there used to not be. I went through several days of denial before finally admitting to myself that I was getting a "femstache." My next little freak out was on the matter of actually removing said femstache without the damn thing coming back twice as nasty. I decided to start looking into alternative hair removal processes because shaving and plucking just was not an option.

I started with facial hair removal cream. While all in all it is a great product and does what it says, I had a bit of a drawback with it. I lost all feeling in my upper lip for 2 days. Yep, try kissing like that, it is a whole new experience.

My next experimentation was with waxing. I had already forayed into this a little with having my eyebrows waxed a few times. I actually like the clean look of it and the pain wasn't too bad. I like the way it worked on my lips and it didn't leave me feeling numb so that was a plus. I think I will stick to this one.

All this got me to wondering about other areas of my body. I don't know about you girls, but my armpit hair grows in extremely fast. If I don't shave it everyday I look like some amazonian princess or something. I decided that waxing on my eyebrows and my lips wasn't too bad so why not try the pits right? Oh my........unless you have a high pain tolerance, don't do this. I don't recommend it. My wording that night got quite colorful. I am also one of those people that if I start something, I need to finish it. So I abused myself for about 30 minutes. That is how long it took with the cussing and screaming and crying. The next day my armpits were still a little bloody and very, very raw. That's ok, it lasted quite a long time, so I think in the next few days I will be abusing myself again.

Letter to the bitch at the store

Dear woman at the store, 

I just wanted to say thank you for totally bringing to everyone's attention to me yesterday when I had my little embarrassing moment. I know that, naturally, I would usually want to keep that low key, but you were totally  right in letting everyone in the store know what exactly had happened..........repeatedly. I know that it was raining and that high heels most likely were not the best choice to wear to a grocery store to pick up something for dinner, but you see, my husband had the car and had just picked me up from work ( I work in an office ) and decided to drop by the store before heading home. 

I did notice you when we walked in. How could I not? You and your two very large friends were blocking the entire entrance, forcing people to have to actually slide between you and the door to get in. I was awed by how loud you three were when I heard you complaining of the rain and wiping down your baskets....very slowly. My plan was just to ignore you, walk on by and hope that you would stay on the other side of the store so I could shop in peace. Lo and behold, it seems fate had other plans for us. I had barely walked 10 feet from you when the unthinkable happened. 

I slipped and fell right on my toosh.

Yep, in front of the entire store my heel hit that little patch of water in the isle just right and went flying into the air. I luckily had my left hand on the basket, and in my panic had grabbed the shelves on my right, so I didn't hit as hard as I could have, but it was still a very awkward position and no one had noticed as of yet what had happened. As I struggled to pull myself up and preserve some of my dignity ( while my husband kindly stared and laughed ) you took it upon yourself to loudly announce to the store in your blaring voice:

"Oh my gawd! That lady just fell!" 

"Look at her people, she fell!"

"She just fell right there, look!"

I couldn't help but think that the appropriate way to thank you for bringing the attention of the entire store to my unfortunate condition was to hurl a rabid screeching cat in your direction. I would also like you to know that the scathing reply to your questions asking if I had "hurt my butt" were from the heart. I often use the same wording with my dear husband when he is getting on my nerves. There is just such a warm fuzzy feeling that comes over one when telling another human being "Yes! Now shut the fuck up please!"

Once again, thank you. I never would have gotten to experience that had it not been for your loud ass mouth.  I hope sometime soon you get the same fulfillment that I was given. 

Yours sincerely, 

            Lady who fell on her ass

Apparently I'm from out of this world

Yesterday was a weird kinda day. One of those that isn't really bad but just isn't really great at all. I wound up sticking this status on my personal FB;

 "Ever have one of those conversations with someone where you feel like you must be speaking an alien language because they are totally misunderstanding what you are saying? Yeah just had one.........I would get farther arguing with a wall."

See the conversation had started out kinda normal. Mr. Fluffy and I had been talking Amtgard and about some things that had happened and I mentioned "I don't think someone should get something just because they are being pandered around, they should have to work for it really hard like the rest of us." It was right after this that the conversation just sort of broke down. He apparently thought I was pissed and jealous and that I wanted to be shown off or something (yeah, shove the introvert in front of a bunch of strange people. What could possibly go wrong there?) and I was trying to explain that people who constantly kiss ass to get what they want makes me throw up in my mouth a little. It ended with me pretty much getting so frustrated I cried (I don't know why I do that but 90% of the time I cry this is why) which then pissed me off because I hate to cry. 

We moved on after that. He let it go because he could tell he was upsetting me, he just didn't understand why exactly. Eventually by the end of the night, we were running through drills with our weapons and I tagged him in the nuts for getting too excited about hitting on his own wife. 

All in all it ended well and my alien speech went back to normal at the end of the night.  

Warning! There are lady bits in this one.....guys you might not wanna read

As most of you know, I went to my yearly gyno appointment the other day. I have fondly dubbed it my "Yearly Violation." I am sure most ladies would agree with me on that point. Seriously, is there anything worse than someone poking and prodding in your private bits with metal instruments while you stare at the walls and pretend you are anywhere but there? This one just happened to be one of the most interesting ones I have had in awhile.

My doctor is a teaching doctor, which I don't really mind at all. Several times she has had her students observe the procedures she performs on me since I am a "strange" case. I'm a guinea pig ya'll! So when the nurse once again asked me if the student could participate in my violation, I promptly said yes because it makes me feel like I am contributing something to the world. She got my vitals out of the way and ushered me into my little room and told me to get with the program and strip. 

I'm sitting there (thankfully she keeps her office quite toasty so we don't freeze our tooshies off in those little gowns) and this cute adorable little thing walks in all rainbows and sunshine. Ah, it is the student come to try her hand at the lady whose body hates her. I smile, trying to hold in my evil giggles because I know this perky little woman has no clue what she is getting into. She starts firing off her battery of questions at me and I can tell that she is quickly becoming engrossed and horrified by my answers. By the time the Nurse Practitioner comes into the room to do my exam, the little student is starting to stutter. The NP has the student start naming off everything she has learned about me. She is no longer rainbows and sunshine at this point people.  

The student listens intently while the NP and I discuss what treatments I have or have not had, what worked and did not work. She listened in abject horror when I told the NP about the hormonal insanity that ensued after my last treatment. Then we got down to business with the exam. The NP wanted me to let the student do it so I agreed. Doing my duty again. She started with the top part, which is my least favorite bit of the whole thing so thank goodness she was fast. She was getting ready to go to town down below when a funny little feeling hit me. Yep, I should not have had Mexican food for lunch on the day of my appointment. I was in horror that I might accidentally butt burp on this tiny little ray of sunshine that was currently rooting around in my lady bits quite roughly. 

She finished up quickly and practically bounced out of the room, her enthusiasm returned now that she was done with Lady Freaky Bits. The NP stayed a moment to discuss some more treatments, the whole time I am trying my best to hold in the noxious fumes warring to escape me. Finally, everyone leaves the room and I hurriedly dress and leave the building, make it outside and get relief. I make it home and Mr. Fluffy asks me how everything went. I told him the whole story and he of course laughed his butt off at me. Yep true love there folks. 

All in all this appointment will go down in my books as one of the strangest ones I have ever had. Now that I am done with that bit of over sharing, have you ever had a doctor appointment you will never forget?

blahhhhhhhh

So the past few days have been a real roller-coaster for me. Wednesday we had a bitch of a windstorm so of course my almost non existent allergies kicked in and I woke up feeling like I was swallowing crushed glass. This went on into Thursday were I lost my voice and also had my yearly violation (pap) appointment. The doctor was very enthusiastic about getting me to do a certain surgery that would help solve some of my monthly agony. I got very excited about it and asked her about my out of pocket expenses. She said she would have her receptionist look that up and give me a call........well today I got that call and I am heartbroken. Three grand. Three grand to go into her office for a procedure that would take upmost of 30 minutes and a little ibuprofen. Looks like I will be saving up for sometime.

On the other hand, I had Mr. Fluffy get me a small little elliptical for me to work out on. I'm so excited about it. I put the entire thing together myself and am anxious to try it out today when I get home. Other than that, I am just too depressed right now to write much. I was very much looking forward to some relief and to find out that I can't have it right now dashed my hopes. So I am going to go sit in a corner for a bit and brood on why shit has to be so damn expensive.

Brotherly love?

I get so tickled at my boys. I can honestly say, I didn't know what to expect when I had two sons. I grew up with three sisters and two brothers but one didn't live with us (complicated story lol) so I was never really exposed to brotherly bonding. My boys have shared a room since Smarty Pants was born. I never felt anything wrong with it seeing as how I had shared a room with my sister up through high school. It just felt like the natural thing to do.

There have been bumps in the road, to hear it from them you would think sharing a room was the ultimate in un-coolness. They never can agree whose clothes belong to who. They are forever touching each others toys. They constantly pull pranks on each other and heaven forbid if one of them dares to encroach upon the other's bed. I am constantly bombarded by the demand of  "Why can't (enter name here) just sleep out in the hall? Then I could have my own room!" "Why is it fair that Little Miss has her own room but we don't!?" "Mooooom! He is staring at my side of the rooooom!"

For all of this though, I can tell that they actually enjoy each other's company. Every night at bed time, there are the secretive whispers and giggles. When one of them isn't there you would think they had died by the way the other acts. They will complain about how silent and boring their room is when the other is gone. They will seek out me or their sister because "It's just too lonely in there without (enter name)." It is at times like these I realize, through all the bluffing and posturing and knock-down-drag-out fights that they really do care for each other. With sisters it was easier, we knew we loved each other and we stuck together like glue. My boys kept me wondering though, I was down right positive they detested each other. I just hope one day  they realize just how important they are to each other. I know I can see it, but if you ask them they will flat out deny it.

Rant about my kid's school

Can I just say how much I hate dealing with my children's school?  I have fairly smart children. They aren't genius kids or anything but they are not walking around with air between their ears either. Our school district loves to hire "new" teachers or promote someone from one thing (my daughter's teacher was the school librarian until this year) to a teaching position. While I understand that these people have to start somewhere in their teaching careers, I just wish my kids wouldn't get them every single year. With Little Man, they never know how to handle his hair trigger temper. Sassy Pants always seems to get the teachers who have never in their entire lives dealt with a head strong kid before, and Little Miss is learning this year that she can't just get by on how cute she is. Sassy Pants teacher and I just are butting heads this year. Talking to that man is like beating your head against a brick wall. Not going to get anything out of it but a splitting headache. Sassy Pants talks. Anytime he can have his mouth running it is. He is a non stop chatter box. I warned his teacher of this. When they line up to go anywhere, the teacher tells them to be quiet and not talk, so of course my son has to talk. They have a color system for when they are in trouble.

Purple - excellent day!
Blue - Great day!
Green- good but not anything to brag about (this is where my kids thrive)
Yellow - not bad but had to be warned once
Orange - getting worse, second warning
Red - basically your screwed. We will call and email both your parents and you are possibly getting ISS (in school suspension)

So yesterday Sassy Pant's teacher decides that he isn't going to give him any warnings anymore. If he gets in trouble for the littlest thing he will automatically go from where ever he was on the list to red. If he gets red he gets grounded at home. His teacher knows this and has decided to use it against my son as a sort of blackmail. Be extremely good or I will put you on red! WTF?! Really? You are going to emotionally blackmail my son into behaving a little better so you don't have to stop being lazy and deal with him? You can't tell me in that whole class of 21 kids that my son is the worst. I know he loves to talk and will most likely be named class clown but he isn't violent or anything. Then, he calls Mr. Fluffy, who just happened to be taking a test and forgot to silence his phone so he automatically failed the test, just to tell him that Sassy Pants had not been turning in homework for three weeks. Really? Why didn't you tell us sooner?! This man has both of our email addresses and phone numbers so there is no reason why he could not reach us sooner than this. Why wait three damn weeks to say anything at all? I am so frustrated with their school that I just want to scream. They refuse to keep us in the loop on anything then cry about it when we don't know what is going on.

It's my bubble...pop it and die

I have personal space issues. I know other people say that, but I really do. I am an introvert and I am not overly fond of physical contact with other people. It takes an awful lot of time for me to feel comfortable enough to let you touch me. I still have family members that I resist letting into my bubble. If you have a hard time understanding, read this. I know, if I am this bad how do I keep a blog? I don't have to see you or touch you so it's all good baby!

Knowing this, I got quite the shock the other day. We were out at the park and this lady who is apparently friends with everyone else came up, sat down beside me and just started talking non-stop to me. I smiled politely and kept up with some small talk and was doing pretty good in my honest opinion. We got up to say goodbye and she reaches over and hugs the crap out of me.

Have you ever grabbed a cat that didn't really want to be held? They do that whole going completely limp thing and then after a few minutes you get the ever living hell scratched out of you. I had a very hard time not panicking and not flailing out because she is sweet and I didn't want to scare her. When it was over and she left Mr. Fluffy came over with this huge grin on his face and I told him "Dude, she hugged me!" He of course laughed his ass off at me. He then proceeds to tell me that he is sorry he didn't warn me about her and that she is extremely "friendly".

I know what some people think of this reaction in me. I get a lot of questions asking if I was abused when I was younger. I can honestly tell them, I was never physically abused as a child. I was dreadfully shy though. I hated meeting new people and whenever my mother would introduce me to anyone I usually just hid behind her and tried to not see them and forcing me to say hi to them or shake their hands would usually result in me crying and screaming. I know somehow this being touched thing comes from that. I was able to start controlling myself around new people and not be as shy as I used to be. I can say hi and carry on some small chat even, but once you touch me the gambit is up and I freak out just a little. You may not see it, but those familiar with me will. They know the difference between my "I frigin LOVE you" hugs and my "Do we really have to touch?" hugs.

This is not a real post, I'm tired and bored so...........

I have been dealing with bitchy parents and grumpy kids all week long so instead of writing something rage filled I will give you a picture of me being epic. Behold!

I'm a super hero! Swoosh bitches!

I'm a glutton for punishment :)

I love horror games. Love, love, love them! BUT.....I can only play them when either someone else is there or during the day because I have a very active imagination and I tend to scare the dickens out of myself. One of my faves is Fatal Frame. I know its an oldie but I still get creeped out playing it. That thrill that goes through you when something unexpected happens and your left with your controller half way across the room and curled in the fetal position alternately crying and laughing is just the best.

So imagine my delight when I heard about Slender, a game where I would not be able to defend myself, just run like a mad person. I watched all the hilarious videos on YouTube, read all the articles I could find and then finally talked myself into downloading it. My overwhelming anticipation was dowsed when I found out my computer hated the game. I could load it and move but it was so choppy that I would never have a chance against Slendy. I tried adjusting it every way I could think and it was still the same. So I was highly disappointed. I am going to try again. Going to delete some games that I never play anymore and see if that works, maybe adjust my actual computer settings. If that doesn't work I will sick Mr. Fluffy on it.

About six months ago I learned that Blue Isle Studios had so much great success with Slender that they were making a new game called Slender: The Arrival. Of course I became obsessed again. I haven't been able to download it yet, though I am getting it soon. I was so excited and I wanted to see it in action, so the other night while Mr. Fluffy was visiting with one our friends I decided that I would look and see if anyone had uploaded game play of it yet. O M Gosh! First off the guy playing it is extremely funny. Here is his YouTube channel . He has some really great ones up, BUT back to the story. I was watching it and I suddenly realized that it was quiet. Mr. Fluffy and our friend had decided to watch it with me (though Mr. Fluffy really had no choice because I was sitting on him. Hey, you steal my computer chair you become the computer chair.). After about two minutes into the second part they had both moved away from me because I was jumping and screaming so much they were fearing bodily harm. It was terrifying but in a good way. I can't wait to buy a copy for myself and play it.

I love horror games :D

The reason I was unable to walk much this weekend

As I have for the past few weekends, I accompanied  Mr. Fluffy on Saturday out to the Amtgard field. What was different this time was that he had convinced me before hand that I should join them in fighting. First off, I am not a very physically fit person. I have three children and hold down a full time job, so when it came to exercising or relaxing on the couch after dealing with immature crybabies at work and my very adorable yet annoying children at home.....well, relaxing just seemed way more appealing. Lately though, I have taken a renewed interest in myself. I don't want my "mommy" figure any longer. I wish to feel on the outside how I feel on the inside and it doesn't match up currently. Secondly, because of my weight gain, I am quite slow now. So keep these two things in mind while you watch the following video:

Yep that blonde lady getting her ass owned, that is me. There is even one part where I am just sitting down enjoying everyone else fighting, yeah I tripped and just said screw it. I am not the most graceful of people. I fell, I got owned everytime I turned around and am still sore two days later......but I had a ton of fun. 

So I have decided that along with buying a workout machine for myself (because screw going to a gym in front of other people, nu uh!) and with Amtgard, that I can get back to a normal size. The side benefit being that I can beat on my husband legally if I want :)

All innocence is lost on the Internet

So sometimes, where I work, my Partner-in-crime (front desk cronnie) and I have to find things to keep us from falling asleep. Usually we are very busy and running around like crazy, but every once in a while we have one of those days were it just seems nothing can keep our interest too long and everything is just dragging. Those are the days we usually have the most interesting conversations. Yesterday just so happened to be one of those days. This is what happened when we decided to browse the internet for a few minutes while waiting for the day to end.

Me: Do you ever wonder if you would recognize anyone on the Craigslist  male seeking female or vise versa?

PIC: No, really hadn't occurred to me.

(both decide to log onto our local Craigslist and browse)

Me: Did I just see that?!

PIC: Oh my god! What is that?

Me: (Quickly closing the browser) I don't think we should have that up. That is wrong on soooo many levels.

PIC: Did you see what I saw?

Me: Most likely, I thought it was fake at first then I realized........Oh My God! Why? My eyes burn now!

PIC: Was the one you saw.........black?

Me: Yep.

PIC: I don't think I am ever going to look in that section again.

Me: Why? Someone tell me why would you put a picture of that up on there? They seriously need some help. I think I was just mind raped.......oh my...oh my......

PIC: Oh look! It's time to go home!

Please people, Don't put pictures of your genitalia on Craigslist. You might be mentally scarring someone.

Random rubbish I did over the weekend

What to write! Gah! There are so many little things going through my brain right now but the question is, what do I share?

First off, the entire weekend was just great. I needed some much deserved mommy down time and so I shipped the kids off to Grandma's house. It was also good for them, they needed time away from me just as much as I needed time from them and were actually excited to see me when I picked them up.

Friday night after we had pawned the children off with my parental, we pretty much just vegged on the couch. We played CoD, watched some TV, and munched our munchies in our pj's.

Saturday, we spent the morning zoning out and getting ready to go out to the Amtgard field. We had been expecting visitors from another field and it turned out to be a very fun day. I saw some old friends and met some new. Our brothers in arms brought our fledgling group some much needed items and when it was all over no one wanted to say goodbye.

I had made Mr. Fluffy promise to take me on his bike later after everything was done. I told him "I don't care where just ride!" Sounded romantic at the time but the temperature wound up dropping dramatically while we were on said "ride". He decided to take a pit stop at a local "gaming" store that recently opened up and I hadn't seen yet and to show me the awesome flyer that had been made for our amtgard group. Don't get me wrong, I love all kinds of gaming and gamers I just don't do well at roleplaying games like D&D. I enjoy watching people play it but I am just not very good at it myself. This place happens to cater to this type of gamer. Wooo! I love that I really do. So while I was waiting on Mr. Fluffy (he had gone to say hi to some friends) I was at the front counter looking at their wares. A man (who I am going to assume is the owner) came up to me and started a conversation about gaming. He politely asked if I gamed, I told him that yes I did. He then asked what my poison was, I kind of stammered because I mean where do you start? I was shyly trying to name off some games when he was all "Magic? D&D? hmmm?" I told him "Oh, I don't do very well at those, I mainly stick to PC and console games" You would have thought that I had spilled grape juice on white carpet with the look that came over his face. He quickly got himself together and said "Oh a video gamer" as if he was mentioning something filthy. I on the other hand quickly got over my surprise and was trying hard not to guffaw in this fellow's face, because honestly he seemed like a pretty cool guy even if he doesn't like us video gamers. Soon after that we rode over to a very pretty park to scout out an area for a gathering we are going to be hosting in a month. It's very pretty and I am hoping the weather will be nice.

Sunday was pretty relaxed. I worked on making the ugliest bag in history to hold our new treasures. Mr. Fluffy calls it the "Santa Bag", I told him it was more like "The ugly bag of shame." I also posted some pictures of me in "Garb" (term used to signify our medieval dress) so that our new people could see examples.

I was really frakin cold. Thus the smile of "hurry the frack up!"

Yep that is me. Freezin my butt off while Mr. Fluffy took his time using my phone to take the picture.He insisted that we couldn't take the picture in the house "Because they wouldn't be able to see the details" and also he kept having to adjust my hood because at one point I looked like a headless monk from Doctor Who. I think he was just having fun seeing me freeze. There are some other things, but like I said earlier, I am still struggling with if I should or should not share them :)

Having a mini-me isn't always flowers and sunshine

You know what no one tells you when you get pregnant with your first child? How hard it is going to be when you two fight. Let me tell you, Little Man and I fight alot. Don't get me wrong, I adore my son. I love him beyond anything in this world. When he smiles and looks at me with his giant chocolate colored eyes and eyelashes any girl would kill to have makes my heart positively soar. He is the black sheep of our children, but he is the apple of his mother's eye. Someday, some girl is going to have a problem with how much of a mamma's boy he is, but I can deal with that later. The problem now is that he is too much like myself. While I can see all the good things about myself in him, I see all my flaws as well. I want so badly for my son to be a better person than I that it leads to some awful arguments between us.

I see in him the debilitating shyness I always endured. Except, whereas I would shutdown emotionally and hide when I felt "cornered" by other people, he reacts with aggression. I cannot tell you how many times Mr. Fluffy and I have been called to the school because he hit another student. I see the temper that I inherited from my own father in him. Both my father and I are quick to anger, though we don't usually hurt anyone physically. I try very hard to be a good example for him, to show him how to effectively deal with his anger so he doesn't hurt anyone else and even put him in counseling. I see in him the same way that I react to something that seems insurmountable. When I feel overwhelmed I usually break down and rebel against it. He does the same thing.

I want my son to be a better person than me. I see in him the ability to be better and do better than me. This is where many of our arguments start.

This week has been a test of my ability to cope with someone so similar to myself. Last weekend my son decided that he wanted to fight in Amtgard. Mr. Fluffy and I set down two rules. He wanted Little Man to keep up on his chores, I wanted one week without him getting in trouble at school. The first day at school, he gets his phone (it's for emergencies only) taken up at school, because instead of listening to his teacher he decided that his phone was more interesting and took it out of his backpack and had it in his desk. We told him that he would have to earn back his phone since I have to pay them to return it to me. I was willing to let that slide as to the getting in trouble at school rule. What was his reaction when we told him all this? He immediately told us how unfair we were being and then stoutly refused to do any chores at all all week long. I let his father deal with the chore issue because I just wasn't up to arguing about it. Then yesterday, I got a call from his teacher informing me that the rebellion had continued at school. She said that all week long, my son had only completed one assignment of his homework and schoolwork. Feeling like a failure of a mother  for trusting my eleven year old to not lie to me and not hovering over him every minute until he had finished his homework, I resolutely told her to send everything he didn't get done that day home and I would make sure he got every bit of it done. Needless to say he was not very happy with me. I then proceeded to call my mother and inform her that she needed the kids there this weekend or she was going to end up without a daughter.

This morning we both got up and eyeballed each other. Who would be the first to make a move? Who was going to bring up this weekend first (I hadn't informed him at this point he was spending it at grandma's house)? Then the sword to my heart was delivered with these words "I'm really really looking forward to fighting on the field this weekend mom!" How do I deal with that? So I slowly looked at him and said "You are going to Grandma's this weekend with the other two." All hell broke loose. The tears came from both of us and the claims of how unfair it all was tore my heart apart. I knew that if I backed down for one minute I would fall apart and he would never learn the lesson I was trying to teach him. Eventually he stormed off to his room and cried to his brother about their cruel, cruel mother. I patiently waited until I couldn't hear anymore sorrowful pleas of understanding and instead heard them giggling. I called him back downstairs. He slowly walked down and gave me that look that said he was pretty sure I was going to send him to a remote island. I calmly asked him if he understood why he was being denied the privilege of getting to go out his weekend and if he understood that it wasn't anyone's fault but his own. He said he did realize that it was his fault he was in trouble, he shouldn't have played with his phone and he understood how important his schoolwork is. You see, he wants to be a game designer when he grows up (squee!) and he is smart enough to do so. I also believe that with his proclivity to be alone it would be a career that would suit him perfectly. We hugged, we cried a little more and then I sent him on his way to school. I know this won't be our last fight as it certainly wasn't our first. What I do know is that as much as it hurts for us to fight, I can't back down because I am making him a better person than I am and someday all the tears and hurt feelings will pay off. In the meantime, all I can do is stand my ground while making sure he knows I love him.

Huzzah to the Shire of Skywatch

So as I have said before, I am into all sorts of "gaming". I quite enthusiastically enjoy MMORPGs and am not all that bad at first person shooters and the likes. I have been known to play role-playing games as well, but have been hampered by my lack of social graces and unfailing shyness. What I neglected to mention is that a long time ago, when Mr. Fluffy and I first got together, I joined a rousing group of individuals for LARPing. For those of you who do not know what LARP is let me break it down.

Live Action Role Play.

Now, some of you may be thinking "Wait, this chick can't sit at a table and tell someone else what a character written on paper will do but can act it out in person?" Why yes, yes I can. I can do this because of one important thing.

She is me. My persona on the field is just an extension of myself. And it gives me a reason to dress up in period clothing :)

The particular group that I participate in is called Amtgard. Amtgard is all over, there are even chapters overseas. When Mr. Fluffy first brought me in on this, we were participants in a very large and well established group. When we ended up where we live now, there was no group to speak of at all. We made an attempt to establish our own group much to no avail.

A few months ago, Mr. Fluffy had an assignment in his college public speaking course to do a speech about a hobby he had. Even though we had not been active participants for years, he still followed what was going on in the community so he chose to do his speech on Amtgard. Not even an hour later he was having fellow classmates approach him about how to join. When these guys learned that there was no active group here they resolved to fix that. I have never seen a group of people so excited about something before. Before I knew it, they were having weekly meetups and just this week there has been talk about getting us a larger sponsoring group.

I would like to give these guys a big thumbs up. You did a great job.

So go visit these guys on Facebook or on the field and make sure you give them a great big huzzah!

Whistle of Doom

Where I work I see plenty of things to make your toes curl. I can't go into gory details because alot of it is from our clients and well there is that whole HIPPA thing and stuff. What it all boils down to is that with all the freaked out crazy things we see on a day to day basis, the one thing in our day that makes us want to curl up under our desks and weep silent tears of horror is a simple whistle.

The way we are set up, me and my partner in crime (co- front desk goonie) face the one and only elevator in our building. we have a full service lab upstairs so all day long we have several couriers coming in and out. Two months ago, our last courier of the day switched people on us. We didn't think to much on it when the new guy walked in and without saying one word, walked into the elevator and pushed the button. That is when the whistling began. 

This isn't your normal everyday whistle of some funky or uplifting song. That of course would just annoy us. No this is on par with the creepy whistle song from Kill Bill. Here is a snippet for those of you who have yet to be exposed to it. 

Yeah, that one. Except a little slower. 

This man walks in quietly never saying one word and strolls his way to the elevator, patiently waits until it opens to allow him entrance. He then slowly turns around and waits until the door has closed halfway then he starts with the whistling. He whistles loud enough that we can hear him after the door has closed and the elevator has started moving. One of two things is going on here. First, he thinks he is whistling a dandy little tune to himself in a receptacle worthy of his fine skill and is unaware of just how creepy he is being or he has in his deranged psyche figured out just how unnerving his ditty is to us and plans to keep doing it to wear us down into a complete mental breakdown before he unveils his evil plan.  

I prefer to think it is the former one and that he isn't patiently planning our demise in some presentation worthy of a B rated horror flick. 

Hi there, let me entertain you :)

So I know I have been away from the blog for a week but I wanted my family to have my undivided attention for the time that they were here. After they left Mr. Fluffy and I were cleaning our hall closet to make room for some stuff we had acquired and needed to store.

Mr. Fluffy: Ok almost done, what else do we have?

Me: I want this box put in there, I packed all our PC game boxes away.

Mr. Fluffy : ok bring it over.

(I grab the box which had been sitting against a wall for 2 weeks and lugged it over to him)

Mr. Fluffy: (eyebrows raised and giggling) wow.

Me: (setting box down for him) What? Why are you laughing at me?

Mr. Fluffy: There is a huge spider on that box.

Me: WHAT!? And you let me touch it?

Mr. Fluffy: I didn't want you dropping it. (setting box up against the wall in the closet)

Me: I think you are pulling my leg, where is this monster spider?

Mr. Fluffy: On the side against the wall, see the leg sticking out?

Me: (kicks the box against the wall, sees offending leg twitch) Squish, squish. I killed it

Mr. Fluffy: You spider murderer!

He knew I would kill it. Spiders and I get along fine as long as they stay out of my territory. If they wander into my territory they are free game.

My Black Ops battle chatter

I don't know how many of you have actually played any of the Call of Duty series, but I love them. My favorite ones so far are the Black Ops games. I seriously have way too much fun on these games. My father and niece say that I'm a bit bloodthirsty and the kids know that is mommy's special time and not to disturb me. 

Mr. Fluffy and I were playing one day and decided to make our own battle chatter based on the game's chatter. Battle chatter, for those of you who haven't played, is something called out by your character while running around and shooting people.  It isn't something you control yourself, it is controlled by the environment and what is happening in the game at the time. A good example would be when one player with a sniper rifle is seen by another player on the opposing team, their guy will yell out "Sniper!" very loudly to alert all the nearby players. The actual player doesn't have to do anything to trigger this other than sight the sniper. Most of the time I ignore the battle chatter. Sometimes though, you can't help but laugh at it. 

Yep just like that

In the first Black Ops, there is a faction called The Vietnam People's Army. Keep in mind this game takes place during World War II. Part of the battle chatter is "Tao thấy nó!", which apparently means "I see him". It does not at all sound like it looks. For the longest time, Mr. Fluffy and I thought they were yelling out "You die now!". So we often yell it out when playing the game. 

Our new favorite happened by boredom. We were playing the new Black Ops 2 and my character just happened to spot an enemy player. I was completely giggle ridden when he yelled out "Enemy with weapon!". Now yes I know they were trying to keep the battle chatter authentic and this is probably something said quite often by real soldiers but I couldn't help but yell out, "Oh my gosh! Enemy with a weapon? What else would he have? A cupcake?" I then proceeded to constantly yell out every time "Enemy with cupcake!" Needless to say, Mr.Fluffy was having a hard time playing because he was laughing too much. 

Now pair my own brand of battle chatter with how I can't help but talk crap to the game and you may get an inkling why Mr. Fluffy wants to secretly record me (and why I am not allowed a headset). 

Comments and love

I know I don't have many readers as of yet, but I am grateful to those of you who are reading me and please feel free to leave comments and any advice that you want. I do want to hear from any of you and hopefully get better at this.

Just a little fun

Sometimes the funnest part of my job is using this and imagining I am beheading tiny little people.

Attack of the Slime!

I bet some of you think I chose the name Little Gamer Mommy to be cute. Well I was being quite literal. I'm not little as in toothpick proportions, I am short. 5'3" to be exact. Being short has its pros and cons. Such as, I can't reach things on the top shelf of the cabinet, but I don't have to worry about knocking my head on a door frame. I don't like heights, so being short is a blessing. Sometimes though, being short can be a real bummer, as I learned this morning.

We have two TV sets set up at our entrances at work. They have been showing people how to put on a mask for months now.

This thing is like three feet taller than I am. The top of my head comes to the bottom of the TV

My boss has tasked me with making sure these are running every morning. The DVD player is in the back behind the TV  This presents a problem as I have to scroll through some stuff to choose the right program so i need to see the TV as well as point the remote at the DVD player. You can probably see where this is going. See that white thing on the side? That is an automatic hand sanitizer dispenser. You stick your hand under and get a handful of gloopy sanitizer in your palm. My usual routine in the mornings is to use my left hand to point at the DVD player while precariously balancing around so I can see the screen of the TV. This morning however, I just wasn't getting a good look so I leaned in a bit towards the whole set up. 

The first thing I heard was the mechanical fart sound of the dispenser. My brain however, still being caffeine deprived this early, didn't register what this actually meant until I felt a cold, wet slime puddle in the crook of my elbow and start sliding down my arm. I had hugged so close to the dispenser that I had actually put my arm under the sensor and set it off. 

Now I know that it was just hand sanitizer and that it wasn't going to hurt me, but I dare you to glob a handful of that in the crook of your elbow first thing in the morning and see how well you deal with it. My reaction was to cry out in surprise and then let out a very fluent string of curse words while my boss sat back and giggled his butt off. Don't worry, I will get him back for that. He knows it too, that is why he is now avoiding me. Oh and yes, it did occur to me afterwards that I could just roll it away from the wall and go around the other side, but you know it's that whole path of least resistance thing.

P.S. There is nothing that can cheer you up like seeing a big burly biker come in and have to use one of your frilly rose pens to fill out his forms. : )

Trolls should stay in fairy tales people

When I was a little girl reading all the nice little fairy tales that society thinks girls should be forced to read the one I would always skip over was the story about the troll and the bridge. I always hated the fact that the troll would bully whoever came along no matter what. So I would skip the story so that I wouldn't feel that rage. I was a bullied little girl, so why would I want to read about them? If I was that person in the story I would have kicked the troll in the junk and crossed that damn bridge with a perk in my step. Just because he tried bullying me.

I have always been a quiet, reserved and a leave-them-alone-if-they-leave-you-alone kinda person. I was painfully shy as a child not to mention small. This led to more aggressive kids thinking I was an easy target. Little did they know, if they pushed me too far I would kick them in the gonads. After awhile, they all learned that it was in their best interest to just leave me be. So when I see a bully, my first instinct is to hit them where it hurts.

As I have gotten older and the internet has evolved to where it is today, I once again have been subjected to people thinking I am an easy target. Sorry, but I can still kick you where it hurts. The latest "troll" in my life is someone I am unfortunately related to but only just met. We friended each other on our personal Facebook pages hoping that we could get to know each other and like each other because of a mutual person we share in our lives. I soon started to notice this person would troll people for the fun of it. Someone will post something innocuous and they will feel the need to get their troll on. I don't think this person actually realizes that what they are doing can actually harm someone. They may actually think they are just having fun and games, but internet bullying has led to so many unfortunate deaths. I find myself glad for that time in my life that toughened me up against the verbally abusive.

Now my issue is that my usual course of action with an internet bully on my personal Facebook page would be to unfriend and block them.You know, a virtual internet foot to the crotch move. Unfortunately in this case, if I do that I may cause a shit storm with that person we share contact with. I have several times posted on my page that I don't appreciate drama and will delete those who start it. Don't attack me, my other friends, or my family. This person has done all three. I had honestly hoped to get past this because we share a common person in our lives and we have many of the same interests. I just can't get past the bullying nature of this person. How they will troll someone just for the fun of it. It isn't always fun for the person you are trolling. The drawback to the internet is that we don't have to ability to see facial expressions and voice tone inflection. All we see are the words and we have to interpret those for ourselves. So if a person with low self esteem or very easily hurt feelings can't tell that you just are having fun, you can cause tremendous damage to them. If you disagree with something someone says, that doesn't mean you need to constantly attack them about it with negativity. In fact, you can keep your asinine comments to yourself. I will never understand the inability for some people to just let things be. Just know that if you continue your troll ways, someday you will run into someone alot like me and it won't be pretty.


So a little forewarning,  if I wanna cross that bridge, then you had damn well better get outta my way troll, because come hell or high water I am going to do it. Even if I have to kick a few gonads on the way across.

Hostess with the (NOT)Mostess

I share a bond with two very beautiful women I call my sisters. In all actuality they are my step-sisters, but our parents married when we were all very young so we have grown up together like any normal siblings do. These two gorgeous ladies couldn't possible mean more to me even if we had the same blood in our veins and not just tied together through marriage.

 A few months ago I talked to my older sister about her and her brood coming to my house for Spring Break. We had the usual banter about what days, what we could possibly do and how many times we would need to duct tape our children to the walls. She comes down often enough that I don't stress too much about the little details. I bugged her and bugged her for weeks for the exact days she would be here (I'm a planner, I NEED this information) before finally giving up and texting her that I had taken the entire week of Spring Break off.  A few minutes later I get a text saying "oh great! I will ask Dad and Mom if they wanna come too!" 

O.o

Now I love my dad and his wife, but I don't have a large house. I live in a townhouse. There is enough room in my kids rooms to bunk a few more kids and my living room and be re-situated to make a sleeping pallet on the floor. But I don't have enough room for a whole lot of people. My couch sits 2 and my table sits 5 on a good day. At my best of times I am a decent hostess, at my worst I am terrible. So now, I am trying to figure out stuff that we can all do that doesn't involve us just staring at each other. My dad told me that he will bring some stuff to grill and we can do that. I have a basketball court and a park directly behind my house, so I plan on doing alot of stuff outside. For the most part I am going to try my best not to freak out (the planner in me is just dying right now) and enjoy having my family invade my house for a few days. I'm sure everything will work out for the best and I will probably sleep for days after everyone is gone. 

Independent kids can be a blessing

I am so very grateful I have children old enough to manage things by themselves. I had a different post planned today. I was going to write about pms and feminism but that is just going to have to wait. I had it all planned out in my head last night while vainly trying to sleep. You see, when mother nature strikes along with all the other horrible stuff  I outlined, I become an insomniac as well. I have not been able to sleep more than 3 to 4 hours a night all week long.

 

I 

am 

exhausted

Last night was no exception. I laid awake reading my book late into the night hoping that would make me drowsy enough to fall asleep. I gave up after about 2 hours and forced myself to just lie there with my eyes closed and hope for the best. The next thing I knew I heard a door slamming. I jerked awake certain that we were being robbed, just to realize that it was 7:30 in the morning. My very loud alarm is set for 6 am. My children's alarms are set for 6 am. They are the nosiest children getting ready in the morning. They argue, scream, and sometimes even throw things. I slept through every single bit of it. The door I heard was them leaving for the bus. I jumped up, ran down stairs and yanked the door open so I could yell to them that I loved them and to have a good day all while feeling like the crappiest mother on earth and embarrassing them in front of their friends in my t-shirt and underwear (yeah, I'm so classy). I was devastated. Today, I am so exhausted I can't even think straight. Hopefully things are going to get back to normal soon. In the meantime, I am grateful that my husband and I had the foresight to drill into our kids the importance of being able to do things for themselves. 

My kids still manage to awe me

I am such a proud little mommy today. A little while back, Mr. Fluffy and I decided to put both of our boys in Boy Scouts. We figured Smarty Pants would benefit from all the social interaction (he is the kid most would call "class clown") and Little Man would finally learn how to interact socially at all. I worried my little introvert would be in shell shock at his first few meetings but his father kept insisting he was doing well. I attended a meeting myself with him to calm my nerves and was pleasantly surprised to see him getting along with many of the boys his age. You see, he is a loner by nature. He doesn't like many children his age and it doesn't help that he has a bit of an anger issue (he has been to counseling). So for a while I just sat back and enjoyed it. Then, I began to question if they were actually learning any "scout" stuff. Yesterday I got my answer.

Two weeks ago we bought all the kids new bikes because theirs had been stolen last year. Little Man, Smarty Pants and one of the neighbor kids were riding the bikes yesterday when Smarty Pants lost control, hit a fence, and got caught under his bike. The usual reaction for Little Man would be to panic right along with his brother or to completely ignore him. I am a paranoid mother, so I keep the back door open when they play outside so I can hear them. I had already heard the crash and the crying and to my shock and awe I heard my Little Man telling his brother to "Breathe slowly, calm down so you don't hurt yourself more. Hey (the the other kid) stay with him and keep him calm while I go get our mom. Don't let him move, he could be very hurt.It's going to be ok Smarty Pants." It took a minute for me to grasp that this was my kid talking. My Little Man who would usually freak out was being absolutely calm and putting what he had learned to use. My heart swelled and as soon as Mr. Fluffy came back home I was bragging all I could. My little boy is growing into such a man. I'm glad I am around to see it happen :)

Crafty girl

So, I'm a bit of a crafty girl. I do a little bit sewing, little bit of crochet and I make a little bead jewelry. I have dabbled in just about every crafty thing you can think of. The only problem is, no one but me and my daughter will usually wear the stuff I make. Of course, a 7 year old girl who dresses like a color blind hippy on speed isn't quite the spokesperson you want.

So, about a week ago I decided I wanted to try bead looming. I got online, ordered my loom and then proceeded to totally forget about it. I do this often, I find it makes it a nice surprise when it actually does get here. As predicted, when it arrived yesterday morning I was very happy to see it, though bummed because I was on my way to work and am not allowed to play with things there. Boo. I am excited to try one more thing out that I am sure I won't be great at but not too bad. I will update this later with pictures of the process and let's hope they aren't too bad.

Hell yeah! Got my roses! Happy Valentine's Day

HA!

I guess you could even say a Monkey Man delivered them too since it was Mr. Fluffy :)  I  have to admit though, I have a very sweet man. My boss lost her husband a few years back so he bought her roses as well. That just might have been a tad sweeter than him bringing them for me..............almost :P

Have a Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

P.S. This isn't my actual gift yet. He hasn't quite finished that yet. 

Rain, Rain

It's raining here and I am super excited about it! I know that may sound a bit strange but I'm southern if that helps you understand a little bit. I get very down in the dumps about constant sunshine. Give me a gloomy, rainy day and I'm a happy girl.

Speaking of rain and sunshine, the hubs was introducing me to Heroes not long ago. Yes, I know I missed that whole bandwagon when it was cool but I don't mind. While I absolutely loved the show I did get very irritated at parts of it. As you guys may know, the cheerleader is supposedly from Texas. More specifically, Odessa Texas. Let me let some of you in on something. Odessa does NOT look like that. I know, I spent at least 18 years of my life within an hour driving distance from there.

And we have monster snakes as well :)

 There are no giant mountains and no spanning canyons. We had dirt, dirt, mesquite trees and tiny hills. Mostly a bunch of flat, dry dirt. Have you ever watched Carnivale? Yeah, it looks alot like that. So, I ranted at the hubs a bit about how stupid that was and how apparently they didn't do any research at all. Then I let it go (with a few irritated noises everytime I saw something off), or so I thought. A couple of seasons in this character moves to California. Woooo! At on point the father comes in and makes a sarcastic quip about liking this "85 days of constant sunshine."

Really?

You are from Texas! That is very highly normal here. I grew up in the Permian basin (where Odessa is located fyi) and what very little rain we got was few and far between. I admit, this sent me off on another rant at the hubs. He wisely just nodded his head and threw in a few "I know right!" in for good measure. After I was calmed down he said, "Hun, you know this is just a show right?"

Yes, I know that it is just a show. My beef with Hollywood is they do not do any research at all on us down here. The one and only time I ever saw anything in a movie or show that even looked like the area they were trying to portray was The Rookie. That opening scene of them driving through plains of mesquite and oil rigs? Yep that is very accurate. I have actually driven that exact road many times myself.

Well I am done with my little rant. I am going to stare out at the wonderful rain outside and enjoy it while I can before it goes away.

I'm still alive

I'm still here! I have just been so incredibly busy. We bought a new bed this weekend and a whole bunch of other stuff we had been putting off. I have been home mainly to just eat and sleep. I did decide to share something pretty awesome with you though :)

BAM! Isn't that a beauty!

My very own dragon egg!

With this "late christmas" present my husband got himself assaulted with hugs and kisses and then ignored for 2 hours. I have been informed my valentines present is still a secret. Let's hope it's as awesome as this :)

Our gaming obsession and why I love it

  Mr. Fluffy and I are both "gamers."  We both play numerous games and platforms. We quite enjoy our little mutual hobby. We both got into WoW for many years together, we both like the Call of Duty games and we love to hunt down new games and try them out. For many people, they think this means that one of us must like a game the other enjoys. Not true. I don't really understand his obsession with Fallout and he doesn't really get into Borderlands the way I do. I obsess over all the tiny details in the Fable series, he spends hours running in circles on Skyrim. While he used to fuss over his guns and home in Star Wars Universe, I would get bored and put my character into a perpetual dance and walk away. That is what I really love about us both being gamers. Yes, we do play many, many games together that we both like but it allows us the freedom to find something we like as an individual. I don't begrudge him his time alone on Skyrim (I myself have never even felt the urge to try it), in fact many times I will be next to him on the couch reading a book or talking to him while he plays it. I will ask him questions about what is going on and he loves bragging on his character and what all it can do. He does the same with me. Our conversations usually run like this:

"What is going on now?"

"Oh well, remember I was doing so and so?"

"Yeah"

"Well that escalated to this and now I'm blowing things up for the heck of it and I think I just might have to start over because I blew all my money and I really needed this <random object> by now"

"Ah that sucks"

I'm really glad that out of all the hobbies my husband and I could have it would be gaming. Something so diverse that we do not get bored easily and we can find something we both like together as well as separately.