Monday, April 8, 2013

It's my bubble...pop it and die

I have personal space issues. I know other people say that, but I really do. I am an introvert and I am not overly fond of physical contact with other people. It takes an awful lot of time for me to feel comfortable enough to let you touch me. I still have family members that I resist letting into my bubble. If you have a hard time understanding, read this. I know, if I am this bad how do I keep a blog? I don't have to see you or touch you so it's all good baby!

Knowing this, I got quite the shock the other day. We were out at the park and this lady who is apparently friends with everyone else came up, sat down beside me and just started talking non-stop to me. I smiled politely and kept up with some small talk and was doing pretty good in my honest opinion. We got up to say goodbye and she reaches over and hugs the crap out of me.

Have you ever grabbed a cat that didn't really want to be held? They do that whole going completely limp thing and then after a few minutes you get the ever living hell scratched out of you. I had a very hard time not panicking and not flailing out because she is sweet and I didn't want to scare her. When it was over and she left Mr. Fluffy came over with this huge grin on his face and I told him "Dude, she hugged me!" He of course laughed his ass off at me. He then proceeds to tell me that he is sorry he didn't warn me about her and that she is extremely "friendly".

I know what some people think of this reaction in me. I get a lot of questions asking if I was abused when I was younger. I can honestly tell them, I was never physically abused as a child. I was dreadfully shy though. I hated meeting new people and whenever my mother would introduce me to anyone I usually just hid behind her and tried to not see them and forcing me to say hi to them or shake their hands would usually result in me crying and screaming. I know somehow this being touched thing comes from that. I was able to start controlling myself around new people and not be as shy as I used to be. I can say hi and carry on some small chat even, but once you touch me the gambit is up and I freak out just a little. You may not see it, but those familiar with me will. They know the difference between my "I frigin LOVE you" hugs and my "Do we really have to touch?" hugs.

No comments:

Post a Comment