Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I swear I am still alive

Swear it! I am here, I am still breathing. Just been super busy and when I am done being super busy then I am too exhausted to think of something to write. I will catch everyone up on my crafts and things later.........but for a while, I am still going to be lazy. Thank you :)

Friday, June 7, 2013

Dialect Challenge

I was browsing Facebook yesterday and came across a post from Kelley of Kelley's Breakroom. She wanted to have a whole bunch of us get together and do a dialect challenge which consists of us recording ourselves saying a set of words and answering some questions. I was bored so I figured, why not. It sounded like a ton of fun to me and, seeing as I live in a town full of military, I am always curious to see what other people call things.

I was supposed to record myself last night and uplink it this morning. Well, good intentions and such right? I was just getting comfy and Mr. Fluffy was making supper but he decided he needed my help (this is usually just a ploy to get me to spend some one on one time with him) and asked me to come cut the onion for the hot dogs he was making. Well if you know me I am the biggest clutz in the world and I tried to cut my thumb off. Well, I sliced it open pretty good. Seeing as how I am the biggest baby in the world I spent the rest of my night soliciting TLC from Mr. Fluffy.

When I got on Facebook this morning I saw that Kelley had responded to my comment saying how she was looking forward to it and I immediately let loose with some colorful language that did not make it into the video because I had forgotten. I didn't have time to do it before I left for work so I decided that I would take some of my lunch break to get this done. So enjoy the following video, please excuse the way I look. It is casual Friday at work and I take casual to a whole new level, no makeup, big t-shirt and barely brushed hair (they just better be glad I wasn't in my PJs).  I would like to point out that Texas is a big state and we have our own different dialects throughout. I currently live in Central Texas but was raised in deep South Texas.

Just to be sure everyone knows what I am talking about I will post the questions below as posed by Kelley.

Here are the questions:
1. What is the generic term for sweetened carbonated beverages?
2. What do you call the miniature lobster that you find in lakes and streams?
3. What is that thing called that kids drink water from in the hallways at schools?
Water Fountain
4. What do you call rubber-soled shoes that you wear to the gym? Or to run? Or to go to Target?
Tennis Shoes (pronounced Tenny shoe)
5. Does someone cut the grass? Cut the lawn? Mow the grass? Mow the lawn?
Mow the lawn
6. What is the general term for that big road where people, like, drive really, really fast?
Highway or Interstate
7. What do you call a group of two or more people?

How do you pronounce:
8. Syrup?
9. Pecan?
10. Pajamas?
11. Mayonnaise?
12. Lawyer?
13. Crayon?
14. Marry/merry/Mary?
15. Doesn't Pepto Bismol taste really, really good?

The Yoga Debacle

I love introducing people to the things I love. Really, really love it. If I can get you to do what I do then that means I have someone to discuss it with who actually understands what I am talking about. I mean, when was the last time you tried talking to a bunch of PTA moms about your K/D ratio? On the flip side I also love introducing my gamer and geek friends to a few "normal" things. 

A couple of weeks ago one of my close friends ( I will name her Miss Missing for future reference purposes) and I were talking about losing weight and getting more flexible so that we can fight better on the Amtgard field. We want to be able to kick some of the guys butts. The drawback to our plan was that we both have some slight health issues, hers being worse than mine. Light bulb moment comes upon me and I say "Hey Miss Missing, ever tried yoga?" Turns out she has never done it but has always wanted to try it out. I quickly extolled the virtues of it to her and we decided that she would stay the night at my place and we would try it the next morning. Before going to bed that night I gave her this warning, "Don't overextend yourself, take it slow and go at your own pace. Don't try to follow the lady on the video because she goes pretty fast on some parts and you won't be able to keep up with her." 

The next morning we get up and get our stuff together. I pop in the video and calmly explain a few of the moves and how she can adjust them a little to accommodate her problem areas so that she won't hurt herself.  The first 10 minutes are fine, we are hitting each pose on cue and she is feeling good about it. It is at this moment that the lady speeds up. Having been to several classes and done the video more than a few times, I am used to the set that we are going through. It is a very common stretch series. It starts in mountain pose and ends the same way. 

Like this video from 1:48 to 3:20 but extremely fast

So I am going along with this quite nicely and it takes me awhile before I realize that there isn't any movement where she is. I look over and she is standing there looking from me to the TV like the world just went wacko on her. I pause the video, look at her and ask "Issues?" That was about the time she broke. She went off on how people who do this must have a screw or two loose and that she thought yoga was supposed to be slow and why was this lady so fraking fast. I admit, all I did was sit back and laugh because, you know......I had warned her. I let her go off for a bit and when she calmed down I let her play with my hair (she likes how straight and fine it is and it let her get back at me with a few good yanks here and there) while we watched a few movies. 

We have decided that we will give this another go sometime. She claims to have a beginner DVD that we can use that might suit her better. I think we will just end up on the couch watching my Game of Thrones DVDs but that is just the way we roll baby. 

Monday, June 3, 2013

The mystery of the urine scent

Do you ever have those times where you know you can smell something but no one else does? I do, all the time. I have a really weird heightened sense of smell. Of course, this only came about after I became a mom. I can smell puke rooms away and if a diaper needs to be changed from across the house. I am sure many of you developed this unfortunate superpower also. Sometimes this ultra shnoz comes in useful, but most of the time I wish I didn't have it (like every time I pass my son's bathroom). 

A few days ago I am sitting in my living room with a friend and we are playing Black Ops 2, just relaxing the day away by shooting digital men in the groin. All of a sudden, I get a faint whiff of  parfum de pee-pee. I immediately chalk it up to the boys not flushing their toilet again and tell them they need to do that pronto. On we go about our business and everything is fine for about thirty minutes when I catch the scent again. I go and check the boys bathroom, because you know, they do everything I ask the first time *insert eye roll here*. Surprisingly, the toilet is clear and there is nothing in there that smells. Ok strange, but I just decided it must have been left over toilet smelly. 

Ten minutes later, I smell it again. This time I go on a manhunt. I check the laundry. Smelly but nothing that smells like urine. I check my son's bed (we are fighting a bed wetting problem, it has gotten much better) to see if it was wet. I checked to see if the kids had dropped dirty clothes on the way to the laundry room. I checked everything.........or so I thought. 

Two days later and I am still smelling it. I have asked everyone else and no one seems to smell it. I belatedly realize late that day, that the only time I smell it is when I am in my computer desk chair. I am searching around my desk when it suddenly becomes overpowering. The one and only thing near me is my tiny little waste basket. Now just a little back tracking here. I used to have a waste basket in my son's bathroom but do to two little boys playing "let's see who can fill it with pee faster" I have taken it away from them. So with this in mind, I think "Oh no, no trash can is safe. I am going to maim them." I call (read: yell) them down from their rooms and start demanding to know who peed in my trash can in the living room where we entertain our family and friends. Both boys are adamantly denying their involvement, saying they learned their lesson from the bathroom stunt when I see this tiny hand being held up behind them. 

Yes, it was my dainty, girly little daughter. 

My mouth just dropped open and everyone fell silent. Mr. Fluffy trying to hide his giggling brought me out of my shock and I proceeded to ask the question all mothers fear...........why. She tells me that about a week ago (yes.....a week.......pee was in my living room for a week) she was downstairs watching her cartoons and felt the need to pee come on her. For some reason none of us will ever know, she spied my trash can and thought to herself  "I can just squat over that and then I won't have to walk upstairs to the bathroom, no one will ever know." She was surprised to learn that two inches of pee in there would start to stink after a little while. Her punishment was having to clean it out. She has sworn never to do it again. 

Let's hope she sticks to that