Friday, January 25, 2013

The Devil is a machine......honestly

     So, we have obtained a neat little gadget at my work. It is a Tanita Health Ware Scale. Every woman in the building has gone crazy for this thing and a strange new trend of healthy eating and joining gyms has cropped up.Guess what? We all blame that evil machine.

    This thing doesn't just measure your weight. Oh no, that wouldn't be demoralizing enough. It measures your BMI, body fat %, body fat mass, body fat range, fat free mass, visceral fat rating, body water %, body water mass, muscle mass, bone mass, basal metabolic age, daily calorie intake, and degree of obesity. Yeah I don't like that last number at all. You would expect nice language from such a high tech machine right? Nope! My body fat range is overfat. That's right, not overweight. I am overFAT.

  So after two weeks of avoiding the Devil Machine and using the stairs more often, I decided to try it again. You know, maybe it was just having a bad day and would be nicer this time. Well, it was a bit nicer. It is still calling me overfat but I am improving in areas and that made me feel better, but then I noticed something strange.

I hate you Devil Machine! 


  You see, the very first time it told me that since I am, you know, short that I should only weigh 114 pounds. I haven't weighed that since high school! So I was checking out the next one and now apparently it has changed it's mind to 124 pounds. So is this some kind of evil plan where the more I lose weight, the more I can actually weigh? So for every pound I lose I can weigh an extra 10? I'm sure there is some muscle thing or body water mass algorithm it is using to come up with this number, but it is confusing.

Edit: Since actually writing this and talking to some of the other women who got on it, most of their first readings were giving an IBW of 114.6 also. So I am thinking Devil Machine just wanted all of us to drop some weight so us overfat people would quit stepping on it. Good one, Devil Machine.

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